Same storm. Different boats. One mosquito.

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on a quote that keeps resurfacing for me:
“We are not all in the same boat. We are all in the same storm. Some have yachts, some have canoes, and others are drowning. Just be kind and help whoever you can.”
It’s a powerful reminder of shared humanity—and of unequal capacity.
Around the same time this quote found me, I had a small but telling experience.

A collaborator I've been working with implied that I “didn’t communicate enough.” What struck me wasn’t the comment itself, but how quickly I felt the urge to compensate...

to explain more, carry more, take responsibility for smoothing things over.


And then, as if on cue, that night (in January, in northern Illinois) I was bitten by a mosquito.
Not once, but twice!
Small. Irritating. Not dangerous.
Just… draining.
That’s when I realized something important.


In storms—especially shared ones—it’s easy to start paying what I now call The Harmony Tax.

It’s the quiet cost of assuming extra responsibility to keep things steady. Of over-functioning in the name of kindness. Of believing that if someone else is struggling, it must somehow be my job to row harder.
But here’s the truth that surfaced for me:
Being kind doesn’t mean carrying everyone else’s oars.
Helping doesn’t require drowning.
Yes, we’re in the same storm.
And yes, compassion matters deeply.


But compassion without boundaries becomes depletion.


The mosquito showed me where my energy was leaking, not through a dramatic crisis, but through something small and repeated. A reminder that even in shared storms, responsibility still needs to be right-sized.

What is right-sized responsibility?

• Communicating your part clearly.
• Helping when you genuinely can.
• Not assuming it's your job to manage everyone else's experience of the storm.
  
  

Right-Sized Responsibility allows for kindness and self-trust.
Care and clarity.
Presence without self-erasure.
So, I’ll leave you with a gentle reflection:


Where might you be confusing kindness with over-carrying?
And what might change if you helped from solid ground instead of treading water?
​

May we be generous where we’re able, honest about our limits, and kind—to others and ourselves—as we move through this storm together.
With warmth,
Robin

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Mosquito medicine reminds us that irritation isn’t the enemy,
it’s information.

Reflection Questions:

• Where in my life am I experiencing small, repeated irritations rather than one big issue?
• What drains my energy quietly—but consistently?
• In what situations do I feel an unspoken pressure to “carry more”?
• What would right-sized responsibility look like here?
• How can I offer clarity or care without compensating or over-explaining?
• What boundary would protect my energy without closing my heart?
• If this irritation were a messenger, what is it trying to show me?
• What small shift would close this energy leak?
• What might change if I trusted that my part is enough?